April 12, 1528.
Grace and peace in the Lord. The disobedience of your wife, my dear Stephan, displeases me very much. But I am also angry with you that you have made her such a tyrant through weakness and unmanliness, not through Christian community service, and that you have kept her in this until now.
The first thing you have to do is to make sure that you do not have to do anything that is not your own fault.
Truly, when you realized that the donkey wanted to get horny from the food, that is, that your wife became only the worse because of your compliance and submissiveness, you should have be-
You should have thought that you had to obey God more than the woman, that is, you should never have allowed her to despise and trample on the man's authority and prestige, which is God's glory, as Paul says in 1 Cor. 13:7. For it is just enough that God's glory should humble itself to such an extent that it takes on the form of a servant, but it is too much that it should be completely and utterly annihilated and destroyed.
See then that you are a man and bear the weakness of your wife in such a way that you do not feed her wickedness; for if you make yourself too much her slave, you defile God's glory, which is in you, to others to a quite annoying and dangerous example.
Weakness is to be borne, but wickedness is to be restrained; but what is weakness or wickedness is easily distinguished. The
Weakness has in itself a propensity to listen to the opinion of others and to accept instruction, at least once in twelve hours; but wickedness shows itself in obstinacy to contradict and not to relent. If your wife notices that you take her malice for weakness, what wonder is it if she becomes furious? Then, through your own fault, you open the door and the window to Satan, so that in the weak, poor vessel (your wife), he mocks you according to his pleasure, makes you bitter, and tortures and torments you in all ways.
You are a wise and understanding man; and the Lord will give you grace to understand what I speak and how sincere I mean it. Truly, I would have liked to advise you and her, and to ward off the devil. Be well. Easter 1528.
Martin Luther.