To Hans Schott. 1524.
To the Gestrengen and best Hans Schott, knight etc., my dear lord and friend, Martinus Luther.
Grace and peace in Christ our Lord and Savior. Dear Lord and friend! When I began to write about the conjugal life, I was afraid that it would happen to me as it does now, that I would have more to do with it than with my other business; and if it could not be felt anywhere else that the conjugal state was so divine, that alone would be enough for the prince of the world, the devil, to oppose it so manifoldly, to resist it with hands and feet and all his strength, so that fornication would not become less but more.
I wrote earlier how the parents' obedience is so great that a child should not get engaged or married without their knowledge and will, and if it happens, the parents have the power to break it up. Now the parents drive around too much on this side and
begin to hinder and stop their children according to their will of courage and, as you also told me a piece the other day, to force them to take one or the other, where neither desire nor love is drawn; that I am again forced here to leave out my counsel and good opinion, whether anyone would like to be guided and comforted by it. Hereby commanded by the grace of God. Amen.
The first that the parents have no right nor power to force the children to marriage.
(1) It is a very different thing to prevent or restrain marriage, and to compel or urge marriage; and though parents have right and power in the first, namely, to restrain marriage, it does not follow that they have power to compel it. It does not follow that they also have the power to force it; for it is more grievous that the love which two have for each other should be divided and prevented, than that two should be driven together who have been in love.
have neither desire nor love together; because there is pain for a little while, but here there is eternal hell to worry about, and all unhappiness throughout life. Now St. Paul, 2 Cor. 10, 13, says that even the highest authority, namely to preach the gospel and to govern souls, is not given by God to corrupt, but to improve. How much less should the authority of parents or any other authority be given to corrupt and not rather to correct?
2 Therefore it is certain that paternal authority has such an aim and measure that it extends no further than that it is without harm and ruin to the child, especially to the soul. If a father forces his child into marriage, when the child has neither desire nor love for it, then he steps over and transgresses his authority, and the father becomes a tyrant, who does not need his authority for correction, because it is given to him by God, but for destruction, because he takes it from him himself without God, even against God.
(3) In the same way, if he prevents his child or lets him go in such a way that he does not intend to help him to marriage, as happens between stepfather and children, or between orphans and guardians, when avarice seeks the child's good more than his need; then the child is truly free and may do as if his father and guardian were dead to him, think of his best, betroth himself in God's name and provide for himself as best he can.
(4) But if the child ask or request and admonish the father beforehand, that he may be sure, as the father or friends will not do anything about it, or go out with vain words always and forever; for in such a case the father leaves his duty and authority in place, and gives the child in danger of his honor or soul; therefore he deserves, and it is fair, that one should not ask about him either, who does not ask about your honor and soul. This is especially useful when friends refuse to help poor nuns to marriage, as they are doing now, and do not inquire about the honor or soul of their vows.
Name of God, friends are angry or laughing about it.
(5) But the greatest knot in this question is whether a child is guilty of obedience to the father who urges him to marriage or to the person he does not desire. For that the father does wrong and as a devil or tyrant, not as a father, is easily concluded and understood; but whether the child should suffer such violence and injustice and follow such a tyrant, there he is at odds, because Christ, Matt. 5:39, 40, 41, openly and boldly commands: "One should not resist the evil one, and go two miles with him who demands a mile, and let the coat go for the skirt, and also hold out the other cheek." From this it follows that a child should and must obey such injustice and take what such a tyrannical, unpaternal father forces him to.
(6) To this I answer, if this thing is done among Christians, it is soon done. For a true Christian who follows the Gospel, because he is willing to suffer injustice and violence, even if it affects life, property or honor, be it short or long or eternal, as God wills, he would certainly not refuse nor resist, and would do as one who is caught under the Turk or otherwise in the hand of the enemy, would have to take what the Turk or the enemy imposes on him, just as if he puts him forever in a dungeon or forges him into a galley; We have a good example of this in the case of the holy archfather Jacob, who had his Leah forced upon him with all injustice against his will, and yet he kept her, even though he would not have been guilty of it before men, even though he had slept with her with ignorance; yet he suffered and tolerated such injustice, and took her without his will. Gen 29:23.
7 But where are such Christians? And if they were Christians, where are they who are so strong as this Jacob was, that they would bring such things upon their hearts? Well, it is not for me to advise or teach anything that is not Christian, in this matter and in all others. Whoever cannot follow this advice, let him confess his weakness before God and ask for mercy and help, as well as he who is afraid.
and shies away from dying or suffering anything else for the sake of God, which he nevertheless owes, and feels too weak to accomplish the same, because nothing else will come of it, the word of Christ must remain: "Be at your adversary's will, because you are with him in the way." Matth. 5, 25.
(8) Nor will the excuse help, whether one would say that from such a forced marriage would come hatred, envy, murder and all misfortune; for Christ will soon answer, "Let me take care of that, why do you not trust me? If you obey my commandment, I can make it so that none will come that you fear, but all happiness and salvation; will you transgress my certainly blissful commandment in the uncertain future? Or wilt thou do evil, that good may come? Which Paul condemns, Rom. 3,8. And even though there would certainly be future and already existing misfortune, should you for that reason let go of my commandment, if you are nevertheless obligated to give body and soul into the entrenchment for my sake, both temporally and eternally?
(9) But to the weak Christians who cannot keep such a commandment of Christ, I would advise that good friends seek or obtain from the prince, mayor or other authorities that such a father be controlled of his wicked injustice and diabolical violence and that the child be saved from him, and that he be forced to the right use of paternal authority. For although a Christian must suffer injustice, the secular authorities are also obliged to punish and ward off such injustice, and to protect and administer justice.
(10) But if the authorities were to be tardy or tyrannical, the last resort would be for the child to flee to another country and leave his father and authorities, just as some weak Christians fled into the wilderness from tyrants in ancient times, just as Uriah the prophet fled in Egypt from King Jehoiakim, and the hundred prophets, and Elijah himself from the queen Jezebel; 1 Kings 15:5, Cap. 18:18, Jer. 26:26. 15, 5; Cap. 18, 4; Jer. 26, 21. Apart from these three pieces, I know of no other advice to give a Christian. But those who are not Christians, I will let them do what they can and what the laws of the world allow.
The other, that a child shall not marry nor be betrothed without the knowledge and
Will of his parents.
Although I also spoke about this in the postil, I must repeat it here. Here, the fourth commandment of God is written mightily and firmly: "You shall honor your father and mother" and be obedient. That is why we read no example in all of Scripture of two children betrothing themselves to each other, but it is always written of parents: "Give your daughters husbands and your sons wives," Jer. 29:6, and in Ex. 21:9 Moses says: "Where a father gives a son to a wife etc." So Isaac and Jacob took wives by their father's command, Gen. 24, 1. ff. 29, 23. 28.
(2) Hence the custom has come about in all the world that weddings or marriages are held publicly with pleasure and joy, so that such secret vows are condemned, and the marriage state is confirmed and honored with the knowledge and will of both friends; for Adam, the first bridegroom, did not take his bride Eve himself, but as the text clearly expresses: God brought her to him beforehand, and so he accepted her; Gen. 2:22.
(3) But all this is said of such parents as hold themselves fatherly toward the child, as is said above; for if they do not, they are to be held the same as if they were not parents, or were dead, and the child free to betroth and marry whom it pleases. But then they do not consider themselves fatherly when they see that the child has grown up and is capable and inclined to marriage, and yet they do not want to help and advise it, but let it go on like this, or even urge or force it to live a spiritual or chaste life, as the nobility has done with its daughters up to now and cast them into the convents.
4. for parents should know that a man is created for marriage, to bear fruit of his body, as well as a tree is created to bear apples or pears, where God's great special grace and miracle does not change or hinder nature; therefore they are also responsible to help the children to marriage and to save them from the danger of unchastity.
If they do not do so, they are no longer parents, but the child is obliged to betroth himself, but previously announced the same and complained of the parents' laxity, and to help himself out of the danger of unchastity and into the position for which he was created, to please father, mother, friends or enemies.
5) Even if it comes so far that they have secretly become one body through the vow, it is fair that they are left together and paternal authority takes away the hand; although in the law of Moses God also in such a case reserved the child to the father, as 2 Mos. 22, 16. 17. 18. says: "If a prostitute is made asleep by someone, he shall give her away and keep her for marriage; but if the father does not want, he shall give the morning gift" etc. But at that time there was not much interest in virginity; but because in our time it is a great disgust to take a madwoman (weakened woman) and it is considered a high disgrace, so that the other part of this law of Moses, of paternal power over the madwoman, is dangerous and harmful to the same child, the first part remains just, that he who has weakened her may keep her.
006 But if any man would pretend: If the father has power to hinder and break the child's vows and marriage, he also has power to forbid him marriage and to force him to chastity etc., I answer: not so. I have said above that a man was not created by the Father, but by God, to eat, to drink, to bear fruit of the womb, to sleep, and to do other natural works, which are in no man's power to change. Therefore it is very different to hinder marriage with this or that person and to deny marriage altogether; For as the father may command that his child not eat or drink this or that, or sleep here or there, so he cannot prevent it from remaining altogether without food and drink and sleep; indeed, he is obliged to provide the child with food, drink, clothing, sleep, and everything for the child's need and for its good; and if he does not do this, he is no longer a father, and the child must and shall do it himself.
7 So he has the power to prevent his child from taking this or that one, but not at all.
He has no power to take one, but is obliged to give the child one that is good and suitable for him, or to make sure that it is suitable for him; if he does not, the child must and shall provide for itself. Again, he can also forgive (renounce) his right and authority without sin and, if he has faithfully advised and resisted, leave the child his will to take what he wants without his father's will; for who can resist all injustice where one does not want to follow good counsel and faithful opinion? Just as Isaac and Rebekah let their son Esau do as he pleased and take wives they did not like, Gen. 28:9. In such a case, the father has done enough of his duty and paternal guilt, and there is no need for him to defend it with sword and sticks; God will find and strike the child's disobedience and willfulness.
Summa Summarum, such things happen according to two laws, Christian or human. Christianly, it should be done so that there is will and knowledge on both sides that the father gives up his child, not without the will and knowledge of the child; as it is written, Genesis 24:57, 58, 59, that Rebekah was asked beforehand and gave her full word and will that she should be Isaac's wife; again, the child also does not forgive himself without the knowledge and will of the father. But if it is done humanly and according to the strict law, the father may give up the child, and the child is obliged to obey him, and the father has the power to break the vow the child has made, and the child has the power to betroth himself to the father.
(9) But if one part wants to be Christian, namely the father, he may pardon (renounce) his right and let the child take care of his will and disobedience, and after faithful, fatherly resistance, warning and advice, excuse his conscience and let the child's conscience be troubled, as many a holy father has sometimes tolerated more disobedience from his children without their will and left the matter to God.
10 But if it happens neither humanly nor Christianly, but devilishly, as when the father
If a child's heart is not closed, the child will think that the Turk has captured it and that it must live at the will of the enemy, or if it can, it will escape, as has been said. That is this time to a
This is enough of a letter; perhaps the matter itself will force us even more to act according to the law and not only according to the gospel.
In the month of May, Anno 1524.